A Fuddy 'Porting Apair
by IndigoNightandRayneStorm
Summary: It was common knowledge among the Gryffindors that the fifth-year boy’s dormitory was the place to go when one was looking for a party. Drunken silliness. Written for a First Kiss challenge. Slash. Various pairings, mainly JamesxLily and SiriusxRemus.


**Title: **A Fuddy 'Porting Apair

**Author: **Indigo Night

**Feedback: **Yes please

**Summary:** It was common knowledge among the Gryffindors that the fifth-year boy's dormitory was the place to go when one was looking for a party.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or the characters

**Spoilers: **Nada.

**Pairing: **Various, mainly JamesxLily and SiriusxRemus

**Warnings:** Slash and drunken stupidness.

**Author's Note:** This was written as a response to a First Kiss challenge my friends and I had. Just a silly little thing I wrote. Read, Review,

**ENJOY!**

* * *

It was common knowledge among the Gryffindors that the fifth-year boy's dormitory was the place to go when one was looking for a party. There were always copious amounts of liquor and various other contraband items acquired by questionable means available in exchange for some entertainment. And so it was that the fifth-year boy's found themselves spending a raucous Saturday evening in.

"Come on, James, just spin the damn bottle already," Sirius groaned. There were ten of them in all, the fifth-year boys, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter, along with the fifth-year girls, Lily Evens, Amelia Bones, Evelyn McMillan, Susan Siah, and Rose Jensen, plus Evelyn's less-than-enthused sixth-year boyfriend Eddie.

They were on their third bottle of wine, and even Eddie was beginning to giggle a little, abet reluctantly. It had been Susan's idea to play spin-the-bottle, a suggestion from the usually quiet girl which had been loudly laughed at and mocked until James had realized the opportunity it would present for him and Lily, one she could not refuse. After James had backed the idea, of course Peter and supported it as well, then Rose and Amelia decided it would be fun, and Sirius had declared it a 'fuddy 'porting apair' (bloody sporting affair), which of course had then elicited many more rounds of giggles and another pass of the wine bottle.

Since then they had made two rounds around the circle, starting with Sirius kissing Rose, Rose kissing Eddie (while Evelyn glared jealously on), Eddie kissing Evelyn, a loudly cheered (by the boys) kiss between Evelyn and Susan.

Following Susan taking her turn with James, James had spent five minutes loudly boasting about how certain he was the bottle, 'drawn by the true love shared between them', would land on Lily, and just how much he was going to enjoy kissing her 'luscious, dewy rose lips'. However, he had slurred the word 'lips' so that to Lily it had sounded like 'tits', and so she had promptly, and understandably, slapped him, which in turn led to uproarious laughter drowning out all conversation or continuation the game for quite some time, any attempts at which only brought about increased peels of nonsensical peels of drunken giggling.

Finally regaining control of themselves, Sirius shoved and teased James into taking his turn. The bottle did not land on Lily. Instead it landed on Peter.

"Someone bumped it!" James immediately declared, yelling over the joyous crows of his classmates, "I demand a do-over!"

"Sorry, Jamsie, rules is rules," Lily sniggered.

"Yeah, com'on pretty-boy, pucker-er up," Amelia teased.

"No, no, abso-fuckin'-lutely not." James shook his head emphatically, his glasses going skewed with the force of his movement.

Peter blushed, shoulders hunching up, trying not to look eager.

"See now," Sirius slung a companionable arm around Peter's shoulder, giving James a sorrowful, disappointed look, "You've gone an' wounded poor Wormtail's feelings, can' 'ave tha' now can we."

It took ten minutes and several jibs about James' manhood, and in the end Lily and Sirius had to all but shove him, but his lips did meet Peter's, if only for the briefest second before James quickly hurried off to loudly pretend to puke in the bathroom.

Nobody wanted to kiss Peter. Luckily, in his drunken haze he mistook Amelia's cat for her and kissed it instead. Since Amelia's cat didn't have opposable thumbs with which to spin the bottle, they voted that the small hissing match it had at that moment decided to get into with Sirius counted as a kiss.

Sirius made a big show out of thanking the cat for 'the best snog he'd had in quite a while', as Evelyn, Rose, Amelia, and Susan, all of whom had snogged Sirius within the past seven months squealed in indignation. Sirius also informed Madam Pepper Truffles McFluffers, quite seriously, that were it not for the unfortunate grey… orange… purple… ish coloring of her fur he would have been much obliged to take her to a proper dinner on the next Hogsmeade weekend. As it was, he was strictly a dog person.

Remus, who had up until this point kept himself removed from the circle with his nose in a book, hoping to be left out of the festivities altogether, was so absorbed in not having fun that it took him several minutes to realize the giggling had stopped and everyone was staring at him.

"What?" He asked, then he glanced down and realized that the bottle was undeniably pointed directly at him. "Oh no," he groaned, trying figure out who had spun it, as he hadn't been following the game and quite lost track.

"Oh now, don't be shy, Mooooooney," Sirius drew out the 'o's in the nickname, smirking in a (what he thought) endearing way.

"I'm not playing…" Remus tried to protest, knowing, after five years of time spent with Sirius, that it was of course completely useless.

Sure enough Remus found Sirius bounding across the center of the circle to land with a thump on top of Remus pushing him back onto his back.

"Sirius…" Remus warned, squirming under his long time friend's heavy form. Ignoring him, Sirius bent forward, pausing just long enough for his ghost-like breath to send a shiver down Remus' spine, before slowly, sensually pressing their lips together.

Remus' gasp was lost in Sirius' mouth as the other boy skillfully slipped his tongue between Remus' lips, plundering his mouth in a very unchaste way as he kept the werewolf pinned between his body and the floor. Electricity shot through Remus' body accompanied by a flip in his stomach and a hardening in his pants. He flushed, panicking briefly as he realized not only that his long kept secret dream was being fulfilled, but that the reality of that dream was now shameless being displayed before half a dozen other people and in a way that there was absolutely no chance Sirius would miss it.

There were jeers, cheers, and cat-calls coming from all sides, but Sirius and Remus were oblivious as Sirius pulled back and Remus realized to his shock that he was not the only one overly excited.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Sirius smirked, and Remus could only shake his head mutely as Sirius bent forward and stole another kiss.


End file.
